Butterflies and differentiation

Maybe I have mentioned it elsewhere, maybe not, but I have for a long time loved butterflies.

Way back when I was a lad we saw so many kinds, all colours, and took them for granted. Now we are lucky to see some tiny white kind fluttering by, almost carried by the wind, so fragile.

Anyway, once again I am back in McDonalds, bolstered by my white coffee and also by just having busted level 4725 of Soda Candy Crush Saga. Yes folks! and not a penny spent on boosters! Something to be proud of!

What popped into my head just as I was entering McDonalds were the words of some wag, about - I would suppose - "equality":-

There are only two kinds of people in the world - those that divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

A good quip, and really quite profound. Paradoxical in a certain way, in that it implies a division by saying that there is none.

But profound, at least for me, in that it suggests as to how we must "touch base" first, before we begin to differentiate. Grasp first that we are all fundamentally "one", that such unity is the "hidden ground of love" (a Thomas Merton phrase used in one of his letters), and from this "ground" we can then begin to differentiate.

We do this all the time - judging, picking and choosing, but if we have truly surrendered to the Grace (pure gift) that is, has been, will be, given to ALL, and truly know that we are all in it together, then our "differentiation" as we live onwards will be of another order.

"Another order"? To what exactly? Differentiation again, more paradox. But when was life, reality, ever logical? As John Keats once said (in a letter to Benjamin Bailey):- 

 I have never yet been able to perceive how anything can be known for truth by consecutive reasoning.

In such a way we can approach the thought of the 13th century zen master Dogen, who wrote that we must "realise duality within non-duality". Or, thinking about it, should that be "realising non-duality within duality"? Or would that be the same thing anyway? Send your answers on a postcard and I'll give a prize to the winner (that is, if I work out who it is)

Well, I'm basically waffling and rambling. Feeling just a little bit better these days, but I think of the words of Winston Churchill, spoken during the Second World War, about "this is not the end, not the beginning of the end, more perhaps the end of the beginning".  Something like that, Winnie had a way with words.

So just perhaps "The end of the beginning", which again reminds me of the words of T. S. Eliot near the end of Little Gidding, the fourth quartet of his Four Quartets:-

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

Those few words have been a constant with me for many years. To be honest, most of the entire poem is beyond me, but I love the rhythm and cadence of all the words. Maybe sometimes it is simply best not to understand; "understanding" can be a conclusion, whereas Reality itself - healing, restoring, reconciling - is a constant advance into novelty. Why stop at any point and think "Ah! I understand. At last!"

Our time for grace and mercy and healing would be put on hold.

Well, I waffle. I ramble. The thoughts pour out. My coffee is finished, I have shopping to get, a bit of "retail therapy" even if it is just a couple of bananas!

Sincerely, all the very best to you all, whatever your struggles. Stay strong. There is no miracle cure, no miracle pill - it is Reality-as-is that is the cure and the miracle.

May true Dharma continue.
Be kind. No blame. Love everything.

Thank you

Just to finish, a poem by R. S. Thomas, which I love:-

The Kingdom

It’s a long way off but inside it
There are quite different things going on:
Festivals at which the poor man
Is king and the consumptive is
Healed; mirrors in which the blind look
At themselves and love looks at them
Back; and industry is for mending
The bent bones and the minds fractured
By life.
It’s a long way off, but to get
There takes no time and admission
Is free, if you purge yourself
Of desire, and present yourself with
Your need only and the simple offering
Of your faith, green as a leaf.

Judge not!

 

What do others think of making judgements?

I've always loved a quote from the playwright Samuel Beckett, who said that:-

"We can never have enough knowledge, but not in order to judge."

I think we can gather knowledge like busy little bees, adding daily to our stock, perhaps thinking ourselves constantly wiser. Then, according to our very own unique conditioning, born of culture and circumstance, we form our judgement - of others, of virtually everything. Until our "self" becomes a hard nugget of "conclusions".

How can we truly see any other human being if such be the case. As the Good Book says:- "Judge not, lest you be judged"

As I see it, such a verse is not the threat of some "sky God" in charge of it all, but is the very nature of Reality. When we "judge" another (in fact, judge anything at all) we inevitable judge ourselves. Only we, our unique self, could possible have formed such a judgement, simply because of all of our own knowledge and preconceived conclusions.

Caught in a trap. And some just might be satisfied, satisfied with just how they see the world. But sadly, as I see it, Reality is missed. Its constant advance into novelty is forestalled, its healing power bypassed in favour of our own chosen judgements and conclusions.

Dogen, 13th century zen master:-

Conveying oneself toward all things to carry out practice-enlightenment is delusion. All things coming and carrying out practice-enlightenment through the self is realization.

(Lines from his "Genjokoan", the actualisation of Reality)

My apologies, I'm seeking to share with friends, not seeking to convince or preach! I'm going through a torrid time, seeking to hold myself together (or perhaps, seeking to allow the Grace of Reality to hold me together) I'm here drinking a coffee in McDonalds and I find tapping away on my Kindle therapeutic, barely knowing exactly what I will say until it is said.

Any comments welcome. I am constantly stimulated by the thoughts of other - and hopefully there will be no judgement!

The Paralympics

 

Going through it at the moment. I have been watching quite a bit of the Paralympics and have found some of the contests and races a great tribute to the human race, of adversity being overcome.

One swimming race, I said to my partner just how much spray one guy was kicking up, his legs thrashing away! He certainly never came first, but when he stood up at the finish he had no arms. So, a "winner". (I say "he" but sometimes the short clip they show, and what with wearing a cap, not always sure)

And the comradeship and support they give to each other. After so many races, often close finishes, winner and loser so often hug each other with genuine depth and emotion - obviously, through their very own struggles against adversity they feel a deep empathy for other contestants, no matter what country they are from.

Last night I watched the ladies 100 metres final, eight finalists. Netherlands, 1st, 2nd and third. A clean sweep. Various disabilities on display and I'd estimate that I would have come in 9th! But hey, I'm 75 - that's my excuse! The gold medalist, a lovely looking girl in her twenties, obviously overjoyed at her success, but never forgetting all the other runners. She had suffered some problem, I think in her teens, where poor circulation had effected her extremities, hands and feet. First one leg amputated, then later a second - at different levels. Then, sadly, many of her fingers.

Tulips from Amsterdam!

What can you say? No words can truly express the emotions that girl has been through, and to try to understand the sheer grit and determination that led her to an Olympic Gold is beyond me. All I could do was look on in admiration and wonder. What a triumph over adversity, and I would hazard a guess that family support, and the support of friends, played a huge part.

So there. What can I say? Pointless, futile, to ask myself just why I spend so much time in dread and anxiety - with all my limbs, a loving wife, a nice home, lovely daughter and two beautiful grandchildren (just wish that they could stop treading Blu Tack into our carpet...) and virtually no financial worries. That said, who can understand the mind? Though we share so much in our common humanity , we are each particular individuals, each given our own struggles. Who can truly understand?

Well, that is it. Once more I have tapped this out while sipping a coffee in McDonalds, never sure exactly what I am going to say until I have said it.

All the best to you all

May true Dharma continue
No blame. Be kind. Love everything